Depression and anxiety feel to me like my skin is a frozen lake.
If I can just keep this smile on my face, they’ll never know that just beneath my mask is a lake of anxiety & depression that goes all the way to my core.
Waiting for me to crack from stress.
From my emotions.
Like they will spill out and consume me.
These depressing feelings of the darkest, blackest sadness.
I know once it gets a hold of me that I will never be happy again.
The anxiety that waits is one that will keep me going with “what if” situations that will turn my stomach to knots.
I question every decision on the inside every day but tell no one because everyone thinks I’m so sure of myself.
But mama said fake it till you make.
So here this smile will stay until I crack too much and the lake of depression and anxiety floods out.
Tonight marks the last night of a less than spectacular lifestyle. Up till this point in my life I haven’t cared very much about my body. I have only cared that it got me where I was going and that it didn’t get sick much. I haven’t cared for my body, my temple, or myself.
Tomorrow (Sept 17th) morning marks day 1 of getting back into my Thrive experience. I can’t tell you how excited I am to get back to thinking clearly, being able to focus, and being able to clear my mind enough to fall asleep.
A few of the great things about Thrive is how much water you have to drink to clear out your system and how they encourage you to quit consuming caffeine. The neat thing is that when I quit caffeine while taking my Thrive, I am not entirely quitting caffeine because the makers of Thrive included a little of it in the Thrive products! So no hard come down from the lack of caffeine. And no crap-tacular headache because I am going through a caffeine withdrawal.
So tomorrow, I am aiming to drink a little over 100 oz. of water, to eat only one meal with meat, and to do some morning yoga.
- 100+ ounces of water daily
- No/less animal products & processed foods
- Exercise of some kind – DAILY
- Bedtime nightly no later than 10:30pm
- Keep on Thriving!
I will continue to keep you posted on my adventure with my lifestyle changes. What are your top 5 lifestyle changes that you are committed to making?? Share in the comments!